Well, Waldo had growed tired of teaching at the religious school of OUR LADY OF ST. JOSEPH'S, which was funded by an aspirin magnate, so instead of teaching kids their cataclysms some more, he decided to ressurect his skills as a slow tap dancer. He had really been good at dancing to Barber's ADAGIO FOR STRINGS when younger.

Well, wouldn't you know it, that there fickle public had underwent a change of tastes since the days that Waldo had been known as "The Tapping Terrapin", and they threw fruit on him during some of the best parts. Waldo had just raised his right back leg in a graceful backwards 'S' curve, while tapping out two against three with his front two claws when a watermelon hit him in the mouth. At first Waldo thought it was tips of appreciation, because turtles really like watermelons, and it tasted real good. But then someone threw a big cucumber right up his Hershey Highway, and then poor, lovely Waldo figured out that they didn't like him no more. It was no good throwing shells before swines anyway, so Waldo demanded and received a $5,000 bonus, and then left gracefully.

There was nothing for it but to go back to being a pilot again. He didn't want to do it because he had gotten boarded last time from doing it too long, and in order to keep it interesting he had taken to doing fake stalls just before landing, and some of them chicken-livered passengers didn't go for it much. Waldo had always thought it was real funny to do some barrel rolls right after chowtime, and then watch them filling up their airsickness bags. After a couple of seconds he'd do a loop the loop so the bags would empty out right on them. Some of them oafish passengers had to go directly to important business appointments, funerals and fashion shows with no time to change, so it was really funny, especially if the carts had spilled whiskey on them, so that they smelled drunk too. Ha Ha on them! Of course with his recommendations and a repudiation like that he was hired right back on by Celestial Adventures Airlines, assigned to the stunt run between formerly LAX airport, now EX-lax airport, and the landing strip at Impetigo, Washington, which is right near where John Ranney lives but is a lot farther North. They made him retrain for a Boeing 3577, using the latest model flight stimulator, and then gave him free licenses to show them passengers a good time. So Waldo would whistle "The High and the Mighty" over the intercom to the passengers, while practicing his dive-bombing techniques over the Rockies, and then go on to that town in Washington with the Indian name.

But then, as predicated, it hit Waldo one day He was boarded with it again. Ever since the Berlin Wall had fell down it just wasn't a kick anymore, like when he used to stray over Soviet territory and dodge missles while the passengers prayed. It was definitely time for a job with more excitement to it.

But that meant finding something else to do in order to support his $500 a day lettuce habit, and he needed it in a hurry. So he went back to being a famous artist, painting his nudes from the bottom up. Some of them models had funny names, like Passion Pitt, and Pussy Katz and Miss Cherry Fanny, but Waldo knew they was from show business, and were famous people, so they could only help Waldo's career if anyone found out who he was painting. Some of his most high-class paintings from this Pink Period were "The Moana Lisa", "Sermon on the Mound of Venus", "Olympia in the Asparagus Patch", and other Classical subjects. Waldo was at least twice as good as Van Go at painting sunflower seeds, so he was going to cut off both his ears, but he thought worse of the idea when he thought of his career as a Bazooka player. After one of Waldo's paintings sold for about a million dollars at an auction by Northy's, the one called "The Brunch", where a bunch of women artists are cutting cheese with a naked man, under the trees, Waldo was tired of just arting around.

To be continuated.

Now, a preview from the next big, famous, new story, named THE HOUSE THAT VICE BUILT,or, "Bless This House". It is a prequel to the bible.

"Al Bumin, the notorious eggnapper, quietly opened the latch on the chicken coop, keeping the inhabitants calm by whispering the story of Chicken Little, which they really liked to hear. Entertaining the younger crowd with jazz versions of songs he learned from Chick Korea, he stealthily sneaked over to the nest of the old brood hen in Crib 14. Seeing one with a cowl, he knew it was a fryer…" You have to pay $100 to read the rest of this expenseful and exciting story.